i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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