This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
