I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
