in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize