It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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