im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
