this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
