Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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