I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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