he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize