I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
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She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
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I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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