He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
