As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
