i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
