I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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