What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
