oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
