That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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