This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Come see our sink grown plant.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
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You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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