I can't breathe out the right side of my face
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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