People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
