I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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