Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
vagina is talking i cant
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
