He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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