is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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