i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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