The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
