did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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