If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
