i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
not ubering you a puppy
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