Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
