My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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