I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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