she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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