Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
