Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
