You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
