I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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