I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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