barbara walters just said penis...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
