tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
