what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
