well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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