she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
