Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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