Duck Duck Cougar?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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