I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
