are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
tell me about the eggs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
