Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
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He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
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Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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