Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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