dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
