their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
