forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
