i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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