Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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