dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
